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There are many reasons you may not have the same sexual desire you once had. We get older, life gets in the way, our families and other obligations take over, we get busy with work, school, and the kids, and sometime we just aren’t in the mental space to feel sexy enough to even try to get in the mood. A decreased libido is a common issue for a lot of women, and here are a few reasons you may no longer be in the mood.
As beautiful and amazing as the female body is, sometimes things don’t go as they should. Conditions such as fibroids, polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), endometriosis, and others, may have an effect on your libido. They may not directly be the cause of your decrease in libido, but may cause other conditions like vaginal dryness or heavy menstrual bleeding, that cause your libido to decrease or disappear.
Some prescription medications may be the reason for a drop in your interest in sex. Birth control and medications to maintain blood pressure and cholesterol may be the cause. There are lots of medications with side effects that can affect your libido. Don’t stop taking these, but check with your healthcare provider to adjust the dosage or find an alternative medication.
Although a couple glasses of wine or a nice cocktail can help put you in the mood, too much can leave you feeling sick, hungover, or have you slumped over a toilet looking crazy. You wanna have that extra drink, or you wanna back that thang up like we did in the 99 and the 2000?!
Exhaustion and fatigue
A good lovemaking session can sometimes feel like a whole workout! When you’re already exhausted, physically or emotionally, the last thing you want to do is one last workout before bed.
Pregnancy, breastfeeding, and menopause all take a toll on our bodies physically, and load us up (or deplete us) with hormones that do all kinds of good and bad things to our bodies. The increase in hormones during pregnancy, and decrease of hormones after childbirth and during menopause, can leave us feeling like a hormonal mess with absolutely no desire to get naked show him work we’re working with.
Psychological issues can have a major effect on your sex drive. If you’ve experienced a past negative sexual experience or have had a sexual assault, you could re-live that trauma whenever you attempt to have any sexual encounter. Low self-esteem, stress, and mental health concerns (such as depression and anxiety) can also affect how you react sexually in the moment.
Your Relationship Status Could be the Reason You’re Not in the Mood
One of the biggest obstacles in even trying to get things started in the bedroom may be the status of your relationship. Many people say angry sex is amazing… and they could be right. But a lot of people, myself included, don’t want you breathing the same air as them, let alone touching them, when you’re mad and not in a good place. Your nonexistent desire to pull an all-nighter with your boo could be the result of an unresolved argument, a lack of trust in the relationship, not fully communicating to your partner what your preferences and needs are regarding sex, or having no connection to your partner. I’ve heard a lot of women say “I can’t get wet for my man anymore” or “Our sex life isn’t what it used to be”. Although it could be something going on with your body or other reasons your libido is going down, it may also be something in your relationship that makes you emotionally and sexually disconnected to your partner. Some people respond to those statements with “Girl, you need a new man!” It may actually be time to get a new partner, but, figuring out what isn’t working in the relationship may be a better fix to this problem… cause I hear it’s rough out here in these dating streets!
Brooklyn is a Post-Partum/Mother-Baby and Pediatric Registered Nurse, turned stay-at-home mom, who is making it her mission to keep women informed on how their individual bodies work, so that they can be their own feminine health advocate when something is ‘off’ for them. All bodies are different, and women need to know that what’s normal for others may not be normal for them, and vice versa. She has personally battled with post-partum depression, vaginal and vulva dryness, dyspareunia, and was placed in medically induced menopause in her mid-20s to try to find relief for some of these symptoms. Talking to friends and family was difficult, as many of them couldn’t relate to these issues. She is now focused on educating women about their bodies, so that they feel empowered to become their own feminine health and sexual wellness advocate when dealing with a healthcare system that oftentimes doesn’t take them or their symptoms seriously. Her mission to stop women, especially Black women, from suffering in silence and help them find their voice when it comes to their feminine health.